For those of us with siblings, the thought that our parents might secretly favor one over the rest has probably crossed our minds at least once. But it can’t be true, right? Wrong – and new research has also explored what might make a child more likely to be the favorite.
To do so, Dr Alexander Jensen, an associate professor at Brigham Young University, and McKell A. Jorgensen-Wells, a graduate student at Western University, combined data from over 19,000 participants across 30 peer-reviewed journal articles and dissertations/theses, and 14 databases.
They then analyzed it for characteristics in children that could lend themselves to being the “golden child”, also looking at the ways in which parents showed that favoritism.
A number of the findings took the duo by surprise; they’d been expecting mothers to favor daughters and fathers to favor sons, but instead found that both were more likely to favor daughters. The researchers had also predicted that extraversion would make a child less likely to be favored, but it ended up appearing to have no effect.
“Americans seem to particularly value extraverted people, but within families it may matter less,” said Jensen in a statement.
Overall, Jensen and Jorgensen-Wells found that “parents may be inclined to provide relatively favored treatment to daughters, conscientious children, and agreeable children. Parents may also be inclined to give more freedom and autonomy to older siblings.”
If you’re hoping that we’ve just provided the perfect recipe for how to mold yourself into the favorite child, you’re going to be left disappointed. Children who were conscientious and agreeable tended to receive more favored treatment, the researchers found, but that doesn’t mean that there’s a definitive link between the two.
“It is important to note that this research is correlational, so it doesn’t tell us why parents favor certain children,” Jensen said.
While it’s easy to look at research like this in a lighthearted way, the researchers are keen to mention that playing favorites with your children, intentional or not, can have a significant impact on them. In the current study, they point to previous research that suggests less favored siblings can wind up with worse mental health and relationships with other family members.
“For decades, researchers have known that differential treatment from parents can have lasting consequences for children,” said Jensen. “Understanding these nuances can help parents and clinicians recognize potentially damaging family patterns. It is crucial to ensure all children feel loved and supported.”
The study is published in Psychological Bulletin.
Source Link: Sorry To Tell You, But Parents Probably Do Have A Favorite Child
