From ‘beige flags’ to the five love languages, social media is a vast wellspring of dating advice, not all of which holds under scientific scrutiny. One should always be wary of taking strangers’ advice at face value. Saying that, there may be some wisdom to be gleaned from the 2-2-2 rule that has been circulating the internet since appearing on Reddit in 2015.
So, you have perfected your flirting technique, found a partner, navigated the early dating stage and settled into the routines of a long-term relationship. Good for you! Research suggests strong relationships (romantic and otherwise) are the key to a happy life. But how do you avoid falling into a relationship rut?
One piece of advice recommended by marriage counselors and Reddit users alike is to prioritize quality time. That may seem blindingly obvious but as the pressure of everyday stresses and commitments (from work to caring responsibilities) pile on, it can be easy to let life get in the way – which is where the 2-2-2 rule comes in.
In essence, it can be broken down into three parts: schedule a date night every two weeks, book a weekend getaway every two months and take a week’s vacation every two years. The rule first came to the internet’s attention 2015 when Reddit user ckernan2 offered the following piece of dating advice:
“On our wedding night, I told my wife that we now had a 2/2/2 rule. It goes like this:
- Every 2 weeks, we go out for the evening.
- Every 2 months, we go out for the weekend.
- Every 2 years, we go out for a week.
We’ve stuck to it, and it really has made things awesome. We got married in August and people still ask how long our honeymoon phase will last. I think it’ll last as long as we stick to our 2’s.”
The advice received a thumbs up from relationship therapist Dr Laura Berman, who told KTLA “the idea is you are making your relationship a priority” and “you are investing in it regularly”.
She described the 2-2-2 rule as a “guide for couples to keep you connected” and offered her own tweaks, which she dubbed the 2-6-1 formula. While Dr Berman continues to advocate for a date night every two weeks, she reduces the number of getaways to every six months – it can be expensive after all! She also advises couples to up the number of vacations to one a year, saying it is the “most valuable” for your relationship as it gives you the time to properly relax and enjoy each other’s company.
It is important to note that it is not just the quantity of time together that is important, but the quality. That means putting away your phones and choosing activities that allow you to actively engage solely with one another – so save the cinema and double dates for another day. Equally, it is just one of many investments we can make to ensure our intimate relationships survive for the long haul.
As one team of researchers put it: “Love is not akin to a language one needs to learn to speak but can be more appropriately understood as a balanced diet in which people need a full range of essential nutrients to cultivate lasting love.”
Source Link: What Is The 2-2-2 Rule And Can It Save Your Relationship?
